Sweet Laughter

Have you ever had times when you were really surprised by something? Ever been really surprised by something God has done? I had this experience recently when I got my acceptance letter to grad school!!

Prior to getting my acceptance letter, I had several days where I felt really sure of the steps I was taking in pursuing grad school, knowing that what I was walking toward—a masters in counseling at Mars Hill—was just right. I don’t know any other way of describing it, but I felt like I was exactly where I needed and wanted to be. That feeling went out the window when I began to open my envelope from Mars Hill. I definitely wasn’t super confident in that moment; I was just plain nervous realizing all of the hope that I had poured into this dream. But, I opened my letter and before anything else, I saw the word “welcome.” I was THRILLED! In my excitement, I realized too that I was surprised, surprised that God would accomplish something that I longed and hoped for so deeply. It sounds crazy to say, but I really didn’t think something so good could happen to me.

I read a piece from Frederick Buechner this week that helps explain my amazement when I consider that I WILL BE MOVING TO SEATTLE, WASHINGTON TO PURSUE MY DREAM! The reading was an excerpt from Buechner’s book, Peculiar Treasures, in which he retells the story of Abraham and Sarah showing the celebration and delight they had in God’s care for them. Buechner talks about the shock that Abraham and Sarah had when God told them Sarah was going to give birth to a son. Genesis 17:17 says, “Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, "Will a child be born to a man one hundred years old? And will Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?" Abraham laughed. He laughed in amazement that God would give them a child in their old age. In fact, the name Issac means “laughter.” They laughed because, as Buechner says, “it suddenly dawned on them that the wildest dreams they’d ever had hadn’t been half wild enough.”

I’ve laughed a lot the last few weeks considering that my wildest dreams are going to come true. My laughter of disbelief is slowly turning into laughter of celebration, and it has been very, very sweet.

Buechner referenced Psalm 126 in his writing, and it’s a perfect psalm of celebration in light of my own journey toward grad school.

When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion,
we were like men who dreamed.
Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.
Restore our fortunes, O LORD,
like streams in the Negev.
Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.
He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.

The Lord has done some pretty amazing things for me, and it’s hard to believe I can say like the psalmist that while I have sown much in my journey in tears, I am reaping with songs of joy. I want to REMEMBER God’s care and delight in me that I know so deeply right now.